


m a s s e f f e c t

by nonopiimagines



Series: Old (2009-2011) [9]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Reader Death, Reader-Insert, mostly garrus flavored, mostly takes place in me1 and me2, reader as f!oc, reader as fem!shep, reader has a kid sometimes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 16:53:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 8,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18450716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonopiimagines/pseuds/nonopiimagines
Summary: a collection of mass effect trilogy reader-inserts from long ago.





	1. at the end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> garrus vakarian x reader (f!oc)
> 
> reader and garrus defeat dr. saleon.

**part.i**

You were almost one of them.

Born into poverty, Dr. Saleon promised a steady income. You thought you could handle multiple surgeries if it meant getting out of the worst of the Wards. If it meant getting your child out of the worst of the Wards.

You couldn’t have him grow up like you did. You didn’t want him exposed to the seedy underbelly of the Citadel. You were lucky; you were able to avoid gangs, drugs, and death. But to know that there would even be a chance of your son growing up to be a violent alcoholic or part of the Blue Suns made you so bitterly angry and completely determined to escape what you refused to call your home.

But then C-Sec happened. Dr. Saleon left and so did any chance of life above this shit hole.

Consumed with rage, you were looking for someone to blame and you found him: Garrus Vakarian.

You stormed up to C-Sec, little Jon in tow, and hunted down the turian who killed your hopes and dreams.

“Can I hel—“

You gave him a foolish punch to the face. Your hand hurt like a bitch and it was speckled with blood and Garrus Vakarian didn’t look at all injured by the blow but it was the intention that mattered. “You! You ruined his life!” You pointed stubbornly at your son who seemed more interested in the orange, glowing computer terminals.

Garrus looked confused and highly offended. “I assure you, I had nothing to do with ruining his life. He looks perfectly fine to me.”

“He is going to rot in the Wards, Officer Vakarian,” you seethed, looking more sad and hysteric than before. “All because you took away my one shot at giving him a better life.”

**part.ii**

Little by little you were forced to realize that Dr. Saleon was a criminal and Officer Vakarian along with the rest of C-Sec were just doing their jobs. You also realized that you had sunk too close to the bottom. Participating in the black market? Selling your body for the sake of money? You would’ve never forgiven yourself. Jon deserved better.

So you had to do it.

You weren’t stupid with a gun and C-Sec was the only way.

“Bye, Jon,” you mumbled, trying to smile. When that failed, you decided a kiss on the forehead would be better. “I’ll be back soon, okay?”

Your son nodded, eager to go play with the other children.

You looked up at the only person you felt like you could trust in the Wards: an asari, too old to be adventuring around, yet too young to become a Matriarch. She took care of children who were lost, alone, or unwanted. Though Jon wasn’t any of those, the asari knew you would be back and she hoped you succeeded.

“Thank you.”

She smiled and waved you off.

Though you were nervous, though your anxiety levels were through the roof, you climbed the Citadel, completely keen to arrive at C-Sec Academy.

Sure, it would be difficult.

Sure, there would be danger involved.

But if you didn’t do this now, Jon would be stuck where you were. You wanted him to be able to do anything he wanted. You wanted him to be able to travel the stars, just like his namesake. And, by the beauty of the universe, you would sacrifice your life to get him that chance.

Perhaps, you’d also see Officer Vakarian. You could apologize to him. Though he did not realize it, he saved you from a life you’d never thought you’d consider.

**part.iii**

“Officer Vakarian?”

You had waited a long time for this. Two years, in fact. All that while, you returned to Jon, enrolled him in school, and proceeded to make a good enough income to propel yourself and your son (and even your asari friend to some extent) out of the worst of the Wards. There was no reason to wait any longer.

He turned to you with a sort of bored and infuriated look in his eyes. As taken aback as you were, he switched his facial features to show something more inviting, or at least tolerable. “Yes?”

“Do you not remember me?” An apology would be more difficult if he didn’t even remember a nearly insane young woman yelling at him about her son.

The turian studied your face for a long time before a knowing light reached his eyes. “No. It couldn’t be…”

“Maybe it could be.”

Garrus stared at you once more but this time you stared right back. “How is your son?” he finally ventured.

Your face broke into a delighted smile. Just one more apology and you’d be free of the filth from before. “He’s good, he’s really good. Look, Officer Vakarian—“

“Garrus.”

“Right, Garrus. I just wanted to let you know…that if you hadn’t done your job and chased Dr. Saleon out of the Citadel, I’d be miserable. Or dead. And Jon would be the same, so…”

You looked up to him after awkwardly avoiding it, noticing him turn away slightly, a look of contempt and indecision on his face.

“He’s still at large. He could be continuing to hurt people. People just like you.” Garrus looked like something more was bothering him, something other than Dr. Saleon.

“When the time is right, we’ll hunt him down together.” Not one to meddle, you stuck with a smile of reassurance and a softened gaze before leaving.

**part.iv**

Sometimes you wondered if the promise was just a one-sided deal. You would take him but he wouldn’t take you.

Maybe it didn’t matter anymore. Garrus left C-Sec, leaving you to climb the ranks, eventually landing yourself in your own office of pristine white and glowing orange.

It sounded great in theory: higher wage, more freedom, more responsibilities. But what that actually meant was filling out paperwork for more than half of your day. You supposed it was all worth it to see Jon trailing behind you, so intent on becoming part of C-Sec’s networking systems defense department.

Finally, when you had just begun to believe that Garrus had become a hermit all the way across the galaxy, never to be seen or heard from again, said turian walked into your office with somebody clutched in his talons.

“Does this belong to you, Officer Y/N?” Knowing very well that it did, he let go of your son’s arm and watched him stumble over to you. “I found him trying to trace Shepard’s extranet caches.”

“I didn’t know she was _Commander_ Shepard! Your whole group looks sneaky. I thought I’d just…keep an eye on you,” Jon finished lamely, opting to sit behind your desk as you approached Garrus.

The turian looked you up and down, notably impressed with your quick rise within C-Sec. But there were bigger matters to attend to. “I found Dr. Saleon.”

Your eyes widened in surprise as you lowered your voice significantly. “Where?”

“It doesn’t matter. If you want this, come with us.”

“I can’t just leave C-Sec or Jon here.”

“Decide what’s more important. Jon can come along. The chef’s already agreed to hire Jon as a kitchen aid.”

You looked back at Jon. He’d been stuck on the Citadel his entire life. This was your chance to show him the universe he existed in and how enticing it really was. “Okay, I’ll take my sick leave. Nobody can know, got it?”

**part.v**

Jon certainly didn’t seem happy about it. His face said “no” but his eyes screamed, “I’m so excited. This is great. Mom, I love you!” To which you just smiled and rolled your eyes, hoping his strange mood would go away soon.

As you left your son in the kitchen to his duties, you went to find Garrus. He seemed to be inspecting what you were told was the Mako. Upon seeing you, however, he abruptly stopped, favoring a suave leaning stance instead.

You just chuckled and followed his lead, leaning against the Mako, your arms almost touching. “This will be exciting. Finally exacting revenge for his victims.”

Garrus nodded, offering to listen and urging you to continue.

“I sort of felt that since I was so close to the same fate they fell to, I was left alive to seek out his death for theirs.”

You turned to him and saw the same look of indecision and contempt you saw when you went to first apologize to him. “What’s the matter, Garrus?”

He suddenly pushed himself away from the Mako to face you, his aura exuding an immense sense of seriousness and significance. “I’m glad that this turned out differently. For a long time, I wasn’t sure if I was right or if C-Sec was right. If we were ruining people’s lives—especially young lives—that made C-Sec seem corrupt to me. Or at least uncaring. Nobody ever gets to truly make decisions at C-Sec. You’d think since you and I were the most affected by Dr. Saleon, we’d be the ones to decide his fate. But it never turns out that way. I was happy to leave and even happier to see that you and Jon hadn’t become victims of my actions.”

You smiled brightly, an action that had become common around Garrus, and clasped your small hand on his arm comfortingly. “Nothing was ever your fault, Garrus. If anything it was thanks to you that we’re getting this chance to set things right.”

**part.vi**

It was empty. The entire MSV Fedele was completely devoid of life. Save for Creeper-like creatures that were easily slain, but once they were dead it was eerily spacious and silent. It made you weary, realizing that Dr. Saleon had probably sacrificed every one of the crew on board for his scientific pursuits. The feeling was added to the preexisting uneasiness that permeated the air.

To make the ambient nosies of the ship even more unsettling, it was only you and Garrus opting to board the unmanned vessel. Shepard had graciously stepped down upon request, knowing that she needn’t be around when it was clearly your pride and vengeance. It was simply a task where only you and Garrus would feel the consequences of your actions.

And the time to act was now.

A laser rifle and pistol pointed through the last door to be opened. This had to be it. With a punch of the button, Dr. Saleon was standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.

He skirted the subject of his life like the plague. Just shooting the salarian would’ve been quick and clean but something didn’t sit right with you.

“You’re hiding something. Give it up or I’ll shoot,” you threatened, authority clear in your voice.

Dr. Saleon paused with an apathetic face only to smirk at you a few agonizing moments later. Your fear crawled up your throat. Something definitely wasn’t right.

You looked around while Garrus continued to tell Dr. Saleon of the guilt he should be feeling and the justice that would soon reap his life. There were tanks of liquid, sweetly rancid smelling, with tubes pouring out and snaking into the vents. The way the partial smell seemed to burn your throat and eyes, it was clear that what was in those tanks was lethal. Releasing it, causing it to be free and airborne, would be almost instant death.

He was going to gas the ship. He was going to take everything with him.

You turned to Garrus with a distinctly void look on your face, though your mind was reeling and your gut was churning. He didn’t know. Why didn’t he know?

You stood, helplessly staring at the turian. He wouldn’t leave if he knew. It’d be stupid if you both died, wouldn’t it?

“Garrus,” you called, pulling him away from the strangely aloof salarian. “Go get Shepard! She needs to be here for this. I’ll keep Saleon here.”

Pushing him out the door, he gave you a puzzled look, his body language tense and wondering, “Is this really important?”

Your eyes hardened, trying to define how serious you were and how much you needed this to happen. You emphasized a small smile, trying to let him know that you wouldn’t leave him in the dark forever.

He hesitated for one last second before he was gone in the direction of the airlock.

You sighed and turned back to Dr. Saleon. He smiled and you smiled back, both holding extremely different meanings.

“You were anticipating this then?”

“Perhaps not you, but someone after my life. I believe the body is capable of anything. Even becoming a weapon. This is my only option against you who don’t understand the potential.”

You nodded, waiting until you felt sure that Garrus was back on board the Normandy. “Well, I guess it’s time for you to finally use it.” Lifting your pistol to his head, you couldn’t second-guess this. You pulled the trigger with an intake of the last pure air you’d ever meet.

The salarian dropped to the floor and you slowly teetered from one foot to he other as toxic gas began to fill the Fedele.

Hoping against hope that Jon would be okay and perhaps Garrus wouldn’t let him be too alone, you let your lungs fill until they were sticky sweet.

–||–

“Commander, you can’t go back in there.”

“Why the hell not, Joker? Y/N and Saleon are still in there!”

“I know, Commander. But the ship is being filled with high levels of toxic gas. The chemical analysis says it’s pretty acidic.”

“How acidic?”

“Like, corrode-through-mass-effect-shields-and-armor acidic. Anyone who goes in there—even Wrex—isn’t coming back.”

The Commander looked to Garrus for answers but he had none. His only words were haunting and brief: “I didn’t know. How didn’t I know?”

**part.vii**

Feeling as if he were the only one with the right to do so, Garrus descended the stairs of the Normandy a few hours after your death and the departure of the Normandy, into the kitchens. He may’ve been surprised, shocked, and infuriated to a point where he was perfectly numb, but he still felt guilt and he knew you would’ve wanted him to talk to Jon about this.

“Jon?”

The young boy looked up from his soapy dishes, not even in his twenties, about the deal with something he shouldn’t have to face.

Garrus cleared his throat. “Your mother is dead.”

Jon stared at Garrus for a long time before he looked back to his dishes. He made no attempt to clean them but he didn’t move away either. If anything, he looked like he had known this was coming since the moment they left and his mother didn’t run down to hug him. He sighed. “My mom…made sure to prepare me for this. Financially, mostly. I thought I could handle the emotional part. But…it’s different than I imagined. Like a big cloud of black emptiness has grown where…my conscious should be. But I can’t mourn now. I’ll have time to break down when I’m back on the Citadel.

“But you, Officer Vakarian. She warned me about you. You’re somehow going to twist the situation around until it becomes your fault. But it’s not. Quit wallowing in self-pity and accept yourself and your actions before you die an angry and bitter turian.”

Garrus had no time to be offended or perplexed before Jon continued curtly.

“You know, I really think my mom cared about you a lot. I think she saw something in you that made her hopeful. So please, if she ever looks down on you again, don’t give her any reason to believe this has changed you for the worse. You both deserve better.”

Jon abandoned the dish and left Garrus to the words that were spoken.

How could Jon be so stable about this? Garrus was on the edge of an emotional nosedive that would no doubt affect him physically, leaving him awake at night to contemplate what went wrong and what could’ve been. Why was Jon so collected and together while Garrus was a mess? It should be the other way around.

Maybe it was time for Garrus to take a break.

Clear his mind.

Watch over Jon for awhile.

Or have Jon watch over him.

If you were alive, he would’ve gotten to know him anyway. It should be the same even in your death.

They’d both do your death justice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote these ten years ago, so bear with me. i was but a young teenage weeaboo hanging out on quizilla.
> 
> find me on tumblr nowadays @nonopiimagines


	2. heal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jacob taylor x reader (fem!shep)
> 
> jacob contemplates what happens when shepard wakes up.

Here you were. Lying in front of him, slowly converting air into something breathable with shallow sighs. He read and reread your file many times, many more times than Miranda would’ve allowed. If she knew. If she knew how infatuated Jacob had become with the idea of seeing your conscious, of seeing you in reality instead of in cold, clinical words.

As he shifted in the uncomfortable chair by your bedside, he calculated how you’d react when you woke. He knew you’d be confused and frustrated. The entire process of dying and rebirth would leave mental and physical scars on your body.

You inevitable pain struck Jacob everyday. It was the equivalent of the fabled Liberty Bell ringing next to his ear, never ceasing. It made him feel guilty, morally ambiguous, and tired. It would be his fault. He was an extension of Cerberus, and Cerberus was bring you back, fully away of how costly this would be to you.

Jacob was the only one who didn’t put Cerberus before you. In knowing that, he eased his heated stare at your motionless, scarred face. He would fix you. He would heal you. Because he knew things Cerberus never could.

“Don’t worry, Shepard. I’ll be around even when everyone else leaves.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote these ten years ago, so bear with me. i was but a young teenage weeaboo hanging out on quizilla.
> 
> find me on tumblr nowadays @nonopiimagines


	3. pillar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> garrus vakarian x fem!shepard
> 
> garrus struggles with depression, but shepard is always there for him to lean on.

Garrus often wondered what it would be like if he could please everyone.

Maybe his dad would be proud of him.

Maybe his team on Omega wouldn’t be his _dead_ team on Omega.

Maybe things would turn out right for a change.

Humans claimed that depression was hereditary and easily fixed by medication. Sure, if hereditary meant he was the sole carrier of the gene in his family and if medication meant alcohol and target practice.

The turian honestly didn’t know what to do about it and he didn’t rightly care because as soon as his feet hit the surface of any planet that wasn’t the Citadel, the Normandy, or Omega he forgot all about his problems, entirely focused on the task at hand and Shepard’s instructions.

And the great thing about Shepard was that she always seemed to know that Garrus needed to be out and about. She was always hyper-aware of Garrus’ emotions, even if he tried to hide them. She just…knew.

So it wasn’t quite a surprise when she waltzed into the battery, knowingly setting a hand on Garrus’ shoulder, already calming his thoughts.

“How are things, Garrus?” Shepard was never too pushy or demanding, she knew how to approach his emotions.

“Fine.”

“Now that I’m here?”

“Yes, now that you’re here.”

Shepard smiled, resting both of her hands on the edge of his shoulders. “Do you need anything?”

“Stability.”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m here. I’ll be your pillar.”

“Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote these ten years ago, so bear with me. i was but a young teenage weeaboo hanging out on quizilla.
> 
> find me on tumblr nowadays @nonopiimagines


	4. one second

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> garrus vakarian x reader (fem!shep)
> 
> shepard asks garrus out to dinner.

Eating dinner alone sucked. You knew this all too well. Being an Alliance Marine meant spending too many nights alone or with fellow soldiers who couldn’t quite be considered company half of the time. It also meant having shitty food for dinner. Military meals were one thing but you couldn’t bring yourself to learn how to cook or bake when you didn’t have anyone to cook for.

Even when you became a Spectre, you expected to be eating alone or relatively so. For the most part, you did, preferring meals to be sent up to your quarters under the guise of too much paper work.

But today was different. The Normandy was docked safely in the Citadel and everyone fled off the vessel to go visit friends or family. Not so abnormally, you would enjoy some nice alone time on the ship but for some strange reason EDI reported that a blue-suited turian was still shooting the breeze in the battery.

Like the caring CO you were, you booked it down there and stood in the doorway of the battery with your arms folded and a stern look on your battle-worn but still delicate face. “Vakarian, why are you still here?”

“I could ask you the same question, Shepard,” he replied, turning to you and mirroring your stance.

“Like hell you can.” You sighed and relaxed slightly. “Don’t you wanna go out and visit anybody? Any C-Sec buddies? Yeoman Chambers, perhaps?”

“You know how I feel about C-Sec and Chambers.”

That’s right. He was a little disgruntled by both, wasn’t he? You always liked to check though, just in case his feelings changed. “So you’re content to just sit in the battery alone? Calibrating?” But you thought it was strange how he didn’t at least go to a bar or something.

“I suppose…” He looked down at you, not entirely sure of himself, like he was conflicted.

You bit your lip and looked away for five seconds. Those five seconds were filled with the exploration of the possible outcomes of the next action you were about to perform. For normal people, that would be nowhere near long enough for their brain to process all of the calculations involved but for a Spectre four of those five seconds were unnecessary. You were taught to never think twice, to always trust your decision, and to always take responsibility. You knew what you were going to do from the start and those four seconds were superfluous and were simple the remainders of a brain that wasn’t formerly trained by military experience.

So here it was. You looked back at him, Garrus, and returned to your natural confident demeanor. “Would you like to go to dinner with me, Garrus?”

He continued staring down at you, deciding if you proposed this out of pity or because you genuinely enjoyed his company. The turian finally nodded. “I’d like that, Shepard.”

Your mouth broke into a smile and your eyes grew mischievous. “Hope into your civvies then, Vakarian, ‘cause this is gonna be one hell of a night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote these ten years ago, so bear with me. i was but a young teenage weeaboo hanging out on quizilla.
> 
> find me on tumblr nowadays @nonopiimagines


	5. don't need love lookin' like diamonds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> garrus vakarian x reader (fem!shep)
> 
> garrus buys shepard gifts to prove his affection.

He wanted to give you the world. Or, rather, he wanted to give you the universe. He wanted to give you everything while he still had the power to give and you still had the power to receive.

He wasn’t stupid. He knew the reaper invasion meant almost certain death. He knew it was more of a suicide mission than traveling to the center of the Milky Way to go run around the Collector base. But he felt that living through the invasion was possible because of you. He felt so much pride and optimism and confidence standing beside you. He felt he wouldn’t be himself if he hadn’t met you.

But Garrus could never put those feelings into words. Sure, you knew that there was a special mutual connection but he doubted you knew how far his feelings extended. And he’d be damned if he let himself ruin another good thing.

So, instead of telling you about his love for you, he showered you with gifts.

“Here, Shepard. I got this for you.” Today the turian was more nervous than usual about giving you your present. It was a very different present after all.

“Haha, is it more alcohol?” you laughed lightly, taking a very distinct, non-beverage-shaped box from Garrus’ talons.

“Uh, no. It’s something better.”

You gave him a sly smile. “I dunno, Garrus, what could be better than alcohol?”

He shrugged and you opened the box.

The box was small to begin with and it was decorated in an expensive fashion. Cream in color with a cerulean bow on top and gold accents. You were suddenly glad it was just you and Garrus in the mess hall as butterflies erupted in your stomach. Inside the box was a necklace. It was so simple yet clearly expensive. A silver chain adorned by a single spherical disc that was neither too big or too small. It was made of a rare crystallized rock that seemed to always be changing. Perhaps in essence it didn’t and it was all a trick of the eye but the rock itself looked like a piece of the universe, jet black with tiny points of light and minuscule flashes of color. People often said that the contents of the rock would change depending on where you were in the universe and the direction you were facing.

This was not a cheap stone to come by.

“G-Garrus…how…?” you looked up at him, helplessly caught between shock and excitement.

“It doesn’t matter.” The turian grabbed the necklace from you and put it around your neck, expertly fastening it together.

“Yes, it does! Don’t think I’m not thankful, Garrus. I really am. It’s beautiful and it means the world to me. But you’ve been buying me all of these things and I’m afraid you’re going to bankrupt yourself.” You reached for one of his hands, squeezing it slightly. “What are you trying to do? Buy my affection?”

Garrus’ other hand traced the side of your cheek, his dark eyes tinted with subtle hues of disappointment and confusion. “No. I just want…”

“Garrus, I don’t know what you’re thinking but I don’t need any of these things. I need you. I need you because I love you and I need you to know that.”

The turian looked at the sincerity in your face and he saw a reflection of his own feelings in you. He smiled and nodded, trapping you in an embrace. “I love you too, Shepard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kesha anyone?
> 
> i wrote these ten years ago, so bear with me. i was but a young teenage weeaboo hanging out on quizilla.
> 
> find me on tumblr nowadays @nonopiimagines


	6. amiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> garrus vakarian x reader (fem!shep)
> 
> shepard must answer for what she's done, but garrus will always be right there with her.

Things seemed sort of amiss.

You knew they shouldn’t be but you knew exactly why they were.

It seemed like things should’ve at least been a little easier after the Collector base was destroyed. But they weren’t. Countless human lives were saved and a powerful tool and asset to the Reapers was vanquished. Even though that would help the galaxy in the long run, it wouldn’t matter anyway. The Council continued to spread ignorance among every galactic inhabitant. Any step forward you made was immediately reversed twenty steps back. At this point, stopping the Reapers was almost impossible no matter what you did and you knew that. Unless all species started preparing for the invasion immediately, there was practically no hope for survival.

But even though all of that weighed down on your shoulders, it still wasn’t the problem—the anomaly that was plaguing you.

It was the Alliance. It was the epitome of your species. It was Earth. You would be facing judges, a council of purely human personnel, making you take responsibility for what had happened so far in your Spectre career.

You were afraid that they thought of you as a traitor.

Your knuckles became whiter around the steel railing protecting you from falling into the cargo bay below, as your destination loomed ever closer. Less than an hour away.

A lightly scarred, claw-like hand closed over yours. It exuded a warmth and comfort that you thought you thought you’d never need as much as you did now.

Your tired eyes followed the trail from his hand all the way up to his face. You smiled and he smiled back.

“It’ll be okay, Shepard.” Garrus never lied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't realize, but most of these were probably written before me3 came out.
> 
> i wrote these ten years ago, so bear with me. i was but a young teenage weeaboo hanging out on quizilla.
> 
> find me on tumblr nowadays @nonopiimagines


	7. nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> garrus vakarian x reader (fem!shep)
> 
> shepard still dreams of the human reaper.

It always seemed so real.

Like you’d never actually murdered it.

But you can’t murder a machine.

It felt like you were killing everyone twice.

You were murdering them but destroying the machine that encased them.

In the end, it always felt like your fault that the human Reaper was even in production.

At the time, you really didn’t have mental state to process what was truly going on around you. But as you were forced to revisit it, the moral implications shot through you relentlessly, unforgiving.

You suddenly found yourself on the cool metallic floor of your quarters in the Normandy. Your skin was sticky with a sheen of sweat and your nose was runny as if you’d been crying. A burning sensation deep within your chest filled you with sadness, guilt, and confusion, and it left you with a sense of immense loneliness because no one knew. No one could understand.

“Y/N?” a groggy and hoarse voice spoke from the other side of your bed.

“Garrus?” you asked, feeling another onslaught of tears coming on as your voice cracked with relief and subsiding paranoia.

The turian instantly leapt off the bed and knelt beside you, knowing exactly what to do in this situation. “What happened?” He picked up one of your hands in his and softly petted your hair with the other, trying to calm you down further, trying to let you know it wasn’t real.

“Another nightmare.” You smiled up at him, erasing any signs of sobbing or uncontrolled fear and putting on an expression of tired confidence, as close to your usual demeanor as possible.

Garrus just grimaced and pulled you closer to him. “It’ll be over soon, Shepard.”

“I hope so. I want us to be able to be happy without the feeling of impending doom washing over us.”

The turian chuckled. “Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote these ten years ago, so bear with me. i was but a young teenage weeaboo hanging out on quizilla.
> 
> find me on tumblr nowadays @nonopiimagines


	8. bambi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeff "joker" moreau x reader (f!oc)
> 
> reader can't remember her past.

They found you on the beach.

He found you in the infirmary.

He asked if you really couldn’t remember anything. He asked if you were really found lying face down on an alienated planet’s beach.

You nodded.

He said he was called Joker and they were calling you—for lack of a better name—Bambi.

When the Normandy docked at the Citadel, you frowned. Joker returned the frown, followed by a quick, reassuring smile.

“Commander Shepard? I don’t want to leave your company just yet. I believe my medical and tech abilities could be of use to you.” He agreed and let you stay.

Everyday, Joker visited you in the infirmary where you worked closely with Dr. Chakwas. He claimed his knees acted up. Everyday.

As you became inseparable, one day he approached you. “Bamb–Y/N, you should stick around, even after we defeat Saren.”

You smiled. He smiled back.

You agreed.

You awoke not remembering anything.

You fell asleep knowing he was your chance at new memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote these ten years ago, so bear with me. i was but a young teenage weeaboo hanging out on quizilla.
> 
> find me on tumblr nowadays @nonopiimagines


	9. kiss & cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> garrus vakarian x reader (fem!shep)
> 
> shepard struggles with the deaths of half her team.

You tried so hard to smile sometimes. It frustrated the turian to see you like that and to feel like he couldn’t console you. You helped him avenge his friends’ deaths, so why was it impossible for him to do the same for you?

But it wasn’t that easy. Everything you did was always a step above the rest. It was hard for him to even be alone with you without stuttering.

Without thinking, Garrus’ feet took him straight to the viewing deck, straight to you.

You had be spending a lot of time there, trying to justify the death of more than half of your team on the Collector suicide mission. You were _the_ Commander Shepard. You were the first human Spectre. And yet, you couldn’t save more than four people. You didn’t deserve any title anymore.

But Garrus thought otherwise. “Shepard.”

You turned your head slightly and tried to force another one of your pained smiles. “Garrus,” you patted the bar you were leaning on. “Join me.”

Without a moment’s hesitation he was by your side and comfortable silence filled the cabin.

“I’ve let everyone down, Garrus,” you mumbled eventually, taking a moment to stare down at your useless hands. “What good am I if all I do is take and never return?”

“You’re the most selfless person I know, Shepard. You took time for every one of your crew members and their problems. They knew the consequences and they were willing to put their lives on the line for you.” Garrus paused to choose his next words very carefully. “I trust no one with my life more than you, Y/N.”

Your head swiveled around until you met his gaze and you smiled. “I’m sorry, Garrus. I know you’ve been in my place before. I should try to be stronger like you.” Minutes passed before you broke eye contact and tilted your head ‘til it hit his shoulder. “I really couldn’t live without you, Garrus.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can tell my ending of me2 didn't go so well. i'm sorry tali.
> 
> i wrote these ten years ago, so bear with me. i was but a young teenage weeaboo hanging out on quizilla.
> 
> find me on tumblr nowadays @nonopiimagines


	10. humanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> executor pallin x reader (f!oc)
> 
> executor pallin meets udina's replacement.

He hated crowds. They were gross. They were sweaty. And this particular one bothered him endlessly because he didn’t authorize it nor was he aware of what the commotion was about.

On the other hand, he was struck into a breathless stupor as he stalked up to the gathering. It seemed that a new human ambassador had taken Udina’s place. In truth, it was your h/c hair and the twinkle in your eye as you conversed politely with the other political figureheads that disconcerted him.

Suddenly your gaze lifted up from your conversation with the volus ambassador to meet Pallin’s dark, calculating eyes. “Executor Pallin?” you asked uncertainly, a smile adorning your lips. “I’m Y/N, the new human ambassador.”

The turian nodded slowly as he walked forward. How odd was it that not but a few days ago he would’ve claimed humans were untrustworthy and callow and now he would say humans are beautiful and understanding. One look from you was enough to send him falling head over heels.

“Ah, yes, ambassador Y/N, it is nice to meet you,” Pallin finally and awkwardly choked out.

You laughed lightly, buoyantly. “Would you like to join me for lunch, executor?”

The turian hesitated. How could you have this effect on him? It was worth investigating. “It would be my pleasure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote these ten years ago, so bear with me. i was but a young teenage weeaboo hanging out on quizilla.
> 
> find me on tumblr nowadays @nonopiimagines


	11. last nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nihlus kryik x reader (fem!shep)
> 
> a young shepard searches for nihlus.

Calamity. Anomaly. Human and turian. A pair that collided with the depths of society’s rules and understandings. It shook everyone to the core when Nihlus began openly courting a human from the colonies.

It began with the smallest of smiles. It ended that way too.

You flew to the Citadel to abandon your colonial home. There was nothing but the safe sanctuary of loneliness tethering you there and you left it knowing the military could use your biotic prowess.

During the Blitz, you healed, you defended, and you worked to save everyone’s lives when all else died around you. That year a heroine was born.

For a long time you stayed in the Citadel, giving speeches, teaching children, promoting charities. Right after the Blitz, you felt a hunger for blood and it scared you. So you abandoned your ways, if only for a while to control this unfathomable rage inside you. That’s when you met Nihlus.

The second you spoke to him, you knew what he would be to you. The more you saw each other, the more people began to talk.

“Let them talk,” you sighed as you walked side-by-side. “I will see you if you want to see me.”

Walking around one evening in the Presydium, he stopped you. “Y/N, I’m going away for a while.” His usually cold and calculating eyes suddenly had a softer glow to them.

“Because you’re a Spectre now?” You bit your lip. “I love you, Nihlus. But I realize I have to share you with the galaxy. It’s okay and I’ll be here when you get back.”

Your forced a smile while your eyes began to sparkle with an intense blend of sadness and disappointment.

“Y/N, thank you,” the dark turian mumbled as he pulled you into a hug. His toughened hands gripped your lower back and the back of your head. To anyone looking onto this scene, it would seem like a very awkward and uncomfortable hug. But to you… this was where you wanted to be right now. And as soon as he let you go, you felt utterly alone.

A few years had passed since then. You reassumed your commanding position and you hadn’t seen Nihlus since that night. Transmissions from him were few and far between and lately they had stopped all together.

Sometimes you think you see him in the Citadel but he’s never truly there. Other Spectres were in and out, particularly a turian named Saren.

As he was preparing to depart yet again, you hurriedly caught him on the dock. “What is it?” he sneered.

Taken aback, you carried on regardless, “Do you know a turian named Nihlus?”

“Ah,” Saren said with a mischievous grin. “So you’re his little doe-eyed human woman.”

A sad smile broke your face as you nodded.

“Well, forget him. He’s already forgotten you.” With that, the turian spun around and boarded his ship, leaving you there to wonder about Nihlus.

As you went back to your small apartment and lay down on your bed, you decided it was most crucial to visit the Consort. She would know. She could help.

Half a year’s salary and five weeks later, you arrive without any vigor on the Consort’s doorstep. She invited you in and sat you down for she could only fear the worst for you.

“Nihlus…” you began half-heartedly, staring at you hands.

The Consort simply smiled. “Fear not, young heroine.” She floated over to you and lifted your chin to meet your eyes. “I know the truth.”

“Please tell me.”

“He erased every memory of you from his mind.”

You frowned. “Why…?”

“He was afraid for you. He was so deathly afraid his enemies would catch wind of you, hunt you down, and kill you. His worry drove him mad, Y/N. He knew that the only way to keep your safe was to get rid of you entirely.”

And then time went on. You worked just to continue to live. You had no drive, no passion. It hurt others to see you this way. More time passed. You slowly got better. Life had renewed its enticement and soon you were boarding the USS Normandy. You were too excited until you saw him there.

Nihlus. He looked the same. He acted the same, he talked the same, he was the same. Only he was more distant. You couldn’t touch him, be with him, or even talk to him.

It ripped you apart.

But Eden Prime was more important. Saving lives was more important. Getting the beacon was more important. Your petty feelings didn’t matter and you didn’t let them.

As Nihlus scouted Eden Prime ahead of the drop team, you began to feel uneasy. Jenkins was killed. You rescued Ashley and the doctors. And then there was the dock.

You slid down the hill after killing the husks, telling Ashley and Kaidan to investigate the sheds. You sprinted toward the body and dropped down beside it.

Nihlus.

You cupped his face, forcing the tears to stay in your eyes. “Nihlus…I was almost there,” you whispered, the pain in your voice apparent. “It could’ve been us again.”

A sudden cough behind you provoked you to spin around and point your gun at the source, your eyes wild with anger.

“Don’t shoot!” the chubby man cowered. “I…I saw how it happened. It-it was a turian…named Saren, I think. Shot him in the head…”

You looked down at Nihlus’ lifeless body and you sighed. “Go on. Rescue is over the hill.”

As the large man skittered away, you began to cry. Saren. He was your life now. To kill him was to let Nihlus rest in peace.

He was your bounty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote these ten years ago, so bear with me. i was but a young teenage weeaboo hanging out on quizilla.
> 
> find me on tumblr nowadays @nonopiimagines


	12. cherries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> saren arterius x reader (f!oc)
> 
> saren tries to fight the indoctrination.

Why would he do that?

Send you away and expect you to come back exactly the same?

“I don’t think this is right anymore, Saren,” you said. Your eyes were so big and betrayed. That’s what he hated most about humanity: their too-emotional eyes.

Especially yours.

He could never stop thinking about them.

“She’s not important anymore. Stay focused,” it said. It coaxed. It demanded.

But there was something inherently wrong with staying true to the cold, sentient machines and letting you go. He knew it.

But Sovereign would not let him recognize it.

And when you returned to him, the turian’s mind was at war with itself. With Sovereign.

You tried so hard.

“Saren, Sovereign’s brainwashing you!” you cried desperately. He could see the panic and worry in your eyes. All those emotions for his sake. Foreign. He always used to feel angry when you disagreed with him.

Like the thought of you thinking any less of him physically pained him. Like the thought of you leaving him turned him ice-cold and empty. Emotions he refused to understand pent up within him, leaving him frustrated and tired.

But none of that was there. He felt nothing. He was nothing.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, Saren.” Your eyes were gone. Looked away and turned around.

“Kill her.” The cold, distant voice. Not even a voice.

The turian raised his pistol and fired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote these ten years ago, so bear with me. i was but a young teenage weeaboo hanging out on quizilla.
> 
> find me on tumblr nowadays @nonopiimagines


	13. peaches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeff "joker" moreau x reader (f!oc)
> 
> reader and jeff share similarities.

Jeff “Joker” Moreau fancied himself a pretty sturdy and reliable guy. Even though his legs weren’t reliable. Even though people assumed him flimsy and incompetent in his profession. Even though he had to prove himself sturdy and reliable anytime he was reassigned.

He had learned to accept this cynical behavior towards his physical abilities and motor skills as “normal.” But he met it with an aggressive attitude anyway.

Little surprise was aroused around the Normandy when Joker chewed you out for asking a simple and generic question that may or may not’ve been referring to his Vrolick’s disease at all.

“So, how long did it take you to get here, Jeff?”

He whipped his head around and glared at your confused face. “My handicap didn’t hinder me, if that’s what you’re asking, Y/N. My legs have never stopped me from piloting like a fucking badass. I don’t know how fucking stupid you’d have to be to not be able to look past my disease and see what I really have to offer, but I guess you’re getting pretty close.”

Your eyes flashed first with astonishment, then intense anger and frustration, and then settled on hurt. You rubbed your arm and looked away from him in disappointment. “Whatever,” you mumbled before walking away.

“Nice one, Joker,” Kaidan commented with an accusing look. “You don’t know, do you?”

“If it’s about her, I don’t give a rat’s ass.”

“She’s got a terminal illness, douche bag.”

—||—

“Hey.”

You were curled up on your bunk, perfectly ready to ignore him and stare at the wall.

“I didn’t know…and I’m really sorry about being such an asshole.” He leaned heavily on the bedpost and watched you, determined to receive forgiveness.

“It’s not always about the disease, y’know?” you replied quietly, turning to him with a small smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote these ten years ago, so bear with me. i was but a young teenage weeaboo hanging out on quizilla.
> 
> find me on tumblr nowadays @nonopiimagines


	14. peaches: revisited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeff "joker" moreau x reader (f!oc)
> 
> reader falls into a coma, jeff is by her side.

Oh, c’mon. It wasn’t like you were his sunshine or anything. It’s not like he needed that anyway. He was thousands of light-years from any star and he still didn’t give a damn about his vitamin D.

The point was you understood him. Okay, perhaps his jokes fell prey to deaf ears every now and again but really mattered was you gave him empathy. None of that sympathy bullshit. Just pure, glorious empathy.

And Joker knew that was nothing to build a friendship around. If he wanted a friend in you, you’d end up just like Dr. Chakwas: a cold and clinical relationship of a doctor and patient, someone who understands and someone who finds healthcare to be a pain in the ass.

But if Joker didn’t want you as a friend, he sure as hell didn’t know what else he wanted you to be.

Perhaps it wasn’t clear until you fell into a coma.

“Dr. Chakwas, what’s wrong with her?” Shepard asked, looking as calm and collected as always.

The gray-haired doctor just laughed bitterly. “It’s her terminal illness. This is the last leg of her journey, I’d say.”

“Did she know?”

“Of course she did and she went to great lengths to hide it from everyone, including all of the Alliance military.”

“Did she know she was going to die soon?”

“I reckon so. She left this.”

–||–

So this is how it was? Empathetic because you were just as pathetic as Joker. Glaring at your motionless body, he hated you for not telling him.

You could’ve supported each other.

Your heart monitor began to slow. He also hated you for not waking up just once before you died. He wanted to tell you how much he appreciated you. He wanted to tell you how you began to look like Ophelia in your last breathes. He wanted you to know he read Shakespeare. Once. Even so, it was pleasantly surprising, wasn’t it?

Joker was fine with his independence.

He just thought it would be interesting to try something different with you.

Your heart monitor wailed in lack of life.

Dr. Chakwas slowly walked in, knowing there was no hope of resurrection.

Joker went back to the pilot’s chair and acted like everything was normal. He could support himself, he always had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote these ten years ago, so bear with me. i was but a young teenage weeaboo hanging out on quizilla.
> 
> find me on tumblr nowadays @nonopiimagines


	15. watermelon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> garrus vakarian x reader (f!oc)
> 
> garrus saves the reader from indefinite stasis.

You didn’t know what to do. You couldn’t see, you couldn’t hear, and you couldn’t breathe. The air was murky and stagnant, everywhere was too dark, and no matter how much you yelled or cried, you couldn’t hear it.

It was terrifying.

It hurt.

Trying to ignore the hunger pains or the muscle cramps was almost impossible. Sometimes it was too much and you could feel yourself sobbing, you could feel the lack of air getting to your lungs, but you still couldn’t hear your weak voice whining for help or the sniffling of your nose.

You thought it was a dream. Or a nightmare.

But if it was, why wouldn’t you wake up?

–||–

Years. It felt like years you’d been trapped in that restrictive hell. It was sad how accustomed to it you had become.

Because one day your senses were overwhelmed.

No more darkness, no more silence, no more hopelessness.

Your eyes strained against the bright, brilliant lights and you noticed a blue blur close to your face.

You struggled to understand any of the conversations going on around you as your lungs rapidly expanded and contracted, excited for fresh air.

“Someone get her medi-gel!”

“She’s been in stasis for months.”

“That’s sick. Using her as a living energy source.”

The words were still groggy but you were sure they’d mean something to you later. For now, all you do was shakily reach up to the blue blur.

It seemed to speak as it lightly caught your hand. “Are you okay?”

You nodded slowly and tried to speak, finally noticing that the blur’s features were uniquely turian. “Th-thank you. For…saving me from that…hell. You’re like…my own personal guardian angel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote these ten years ago, so bear with me. i was but a young teenage weeaboo hanging out on quizilla.
> 
> find me on tumblr nowadays @nonopiimagines


	16. banana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kaidan alenko x reader (fem!shep)
> 
> the crew goes out drinking the night before.

It was one of those times again.

When everyone got drunk at Flux. And nobody could hold their liquor as well as they thought they could. Or, in Wrex’s case, they were stricken with a weird digestive virus that left them bed-ridden and deliriously angry.

But time stops for no human, turian, krogan, quarian, or otherwise. The Normandy crew was scheduled to leave the Citadel and arrive at Eletania at what would be the afternoon. Although everyone else was incapacitated, the Commander Shepard knew how her blood-alcohol content worked and was completely fine.

And to your surprise, so was Kaidan Alenko.

“Ready to go, Alenko?” you called behind you, suiting up to run around on Eletania.

You saw him frown as he approached. He wasn’t even in his armor yet. “Shepard.”

“Oh, c’mon, Kaidan. Don’t make me go alone. You told me you were fine this morning.”

“I just don’t think we can drive the Mako with just two people.”

“Sure we can. You drive, I shoot.”

Kaidan just stared at you.

“Alright. Go get Wrex and we’ll make him drive.”

Kaidan continued to stare at you. You were pretty sure he was wondering if you were stupid or not. “You’re not serious, Shepard.”

“Of course I’m not.” You sighed heavily and put a hand on his shoulder. “Lighten up, Alenko. We can go on foot if you want.”

He looked down at you with his dark eyes. Kaidan Alenko’s dark, stupid eyes that weren’t very entrancing but they were more like staples. They looked at your eyes, analyzing your soul and left you there to look back helplessly.

“Alright,” he said finally. “On foot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote these ten years ago, so bear with me. i was but a young teenage weeaboo hanging out on quizilla.
> 
> find me on tumblr nowadays @nonopiimagines


	17. banana 2.0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kaidan alenko x reader (fem!shep)
> 
> kaidan is worried about shepard after she blacks out during a prothean vision.

"Hey.”

“Hey, what?”

The biotic grabbed your arm and whipped you around to face his very angry eyebrows. “Hey, are you alright? You pass out right in front of me and then you think you can just get up and walk away like nothing happened?”

“Maybe nothing did happen, Kaidan. Maybe it’s none of your goddamn business.” It really wasn’t any of his business. Protheans were your thing. You weren’t going to try and explain something that felt like a lifetime but only actually lasted a few minutes. You weren’t going to try to jump to conclusions about another Prothean vision. All you wanted to do was to sit and think alone but stupid Alenko had other plans, it seemed.

“Actually, it sounds like it is my goddamn business. We’re all in this together, Shepard. You can’t hide something that might help or endanger us.”

“Fine, fine. I’ll go over it with Liara later.”

“Well, why can’t you tell me now?”

You paused for a moment. Kaidan seemed hurt and disappointed. His face and his stapler-eyes held no lies or ill intentions. Just sincerity. “Do you worry about me, Kaidan?”

He took no time to answer. “Every goddamn day, Shepard. Every time you walk out of the Normandy.”

“I can take care of myself—“

“You’re missing the point, Y/N,” the brown-haired man hesitated. Here it comes, the breach of the chain of command. “I really care about you. It’s not that I think you can’t handle yourself. I just worry that one day, something will get to you. I just want to make sure I’m there to stop it.”

What a curious turn of events, but not entirely unexpected or abhorred. This was the gentle giant Kaidan Alenko. If anything, he was unique and special. “Well, that’s all fine and dandy, Lieutenant, but only if you think you can keep up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote these ten years ago, so bear with me. i was but a young teenage weeaboo hanging out on quizilla.
> 
> find me on tumblr nowadays @nonopiimagines


	18. tomato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thane krios x reader (f!oc)
> 
> an immortal reader comes to terms with thane's finite life.

When did you blood run black?

When did your heart begin to tick?

When did your life start flashing before your eyes?

You didn’t understand. You knew nobody else did either. You were completely alone in the unknown.

But everybody knew how distant you’d become. Once so full of life, now faded to an automatic and lifeless being. No one knew what you were. You didn’t even know.

“You are us,” they said, unified yet separate.

“Think of it as a one-way mirror,” the traitor doctor suggested.

A match made in a hell: a cyborg.

You were more machine than organic.

What emotions you had left were fleeting and bittersweet. You had become the ultimate tool, soon to be the greatest spy the universe would ever know.

Soon you wouldn’t be able to feel the guilt.

Soon they’d control you entirely.

Every thought, every feeling. You clung to what you had left, to what you’d found in the most unlikely place.

“This is terrible.” It was time to confide.

“What is it, siha?”

A nearly robotic movement, your hand cascading down his too-smooth face. “You and I. Immortal and mortal.”

He inhaled a breath and exhaled a chuckle. “I have no doubts you will keep me alive in your memory.”

“Yes, but your tangibility is what keeps me alive. Keeps me human. You are my life force.”

“Then remember me forever, Y/N.”

But time fades memories. They will be forgotten.

You grew cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote these ten years ago, so bear with me. i was but a young teenage weeaboo hanging out on quizilla.
> 
> find me on tumblr nowadays @nonopiimagines

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote these ten years ago, so bear with me. i was but a young teenage weeaboo hanging out on quizilla.
> 
> find me on tumblr nowadays @nonopiimagines


End file.
